What Is a Sexual Fetish?
Sexual fetish describes people who are aroused by unusual parts of the body, activities, or objects that are generally not associated with conventional sex. The fetish is strong and is deep seated in the sub conscious mind. People can have sex without actually participating in the fetish activity. However, 99 per cent of people with a fetish are like Susan. They cannot have an orgasm unless they think about the fetish at the moment of explosion.
There are all kinds of sexual fetishes. Sexuality is something that is as unique as each individual. Some people fixate on parts of the body: shoes, feet, legs, bottoms, hair or armpits. Others enjoy acting out certain kinds of scenarios including Dominant/submissive role-playing, spanking, bondage, cross-dressing and trampling. Still others find certain articles of clothing or fabric stimulating such as leather, latex, rubber and even angora sweaters. The acts and scenarios attached to these fetishes are many and variable.
People With Fetishes Are Ashamed
It's no wonder. Our society labels anything sexually different as deviant or perverted. These labels hurt deeply to those whose sexual make-up is out of the norm. Fetishists feel weird, ashamed and guilty for their desires. While the fetish provides pleasure and relief, all these people have feelings of shame about being sexually different.
Fetishists are afraid of sharing their secret with a lover. They fear rejection, ridicule or abandonment. Unfortunately their fears are not unfounded. Oftentimes, people who disclose to their wives or husbands wish they hadn't. Their partners react with shock or embarrassment promoting even more feels of shame and regret.
The general public is uneducated about sexuality out of the norm. Most people (even in this day and age) resort to perfunctory sex. We are not schooled in the joys of playing and acting out fantasies. Fetishes often require special costuming, effects, verbiage and creativity. We are not trained to indulge in sexual desires. We just don't understand.
People with a fetish generally think they are the only one. It's a secret that they carry to the grave or possibly a paid professional (prostitute or Dominatrix). Sexual fetish is a misunderstood confusing topic. Why can't my partner or I just enjoy and experience sex in the moment? Is it abnormal to have strong sexual feelings or thoughts, which I can't control? Is there a 'cure' for fetish? Is it OK to act on the fetish?
Where Does The Fetish Come From?
There's no definitive answer as to why someone is or isn't precluded to having a fetish. Most remember having some kind of early childhood memory connected to the fetish.
Fear, excitement, curiosity, pleasure are powerful emotions that are felt in the body. The body remembers the charge physiologically and for some of us those moments become eroticized on a subconscious level. Even scary childhood moments. We protected ourselves by sexualizing the powerful feelings. Generally the feelings lay dormant until we become sexually active. Then out of nowhere, we connect our original moment of excitement and experience to a powerful erotic charge. This feeling is so strong that our sexuality is linked to that early sexual/excitement/fear moment.
For example, someone who likes spanking might have heard someone else get a spanked or they were spanked themselves. While the event wasn't necessarily enjoyable at the time, it made great impact. It was charged moment that later became sexualized. How does that happen? Spanking is done behind closed doors, undergarments are taken down and there is a certain degree of intimacy about the act. Hence, powerful emotions are evoked.
These powerful emotions linked to the fetish are stored in the subconscious mind. They are connected to a part of our brain that produces sexual stimulation. When puberty strikes these thoughts and feelings may re-emerge. Before we realize what's happening we are associating our childhood fear/excitement to adult sexual feelings.
Do You Have A Sexual Fetish?
Chances are good that if you were attracted to this article you have a sexual fetish or a penchant for sexuality out of the norm. You may or may not have told anyone or acted upon it. Perhaps you have see professional women who specialize in exotic forms of adult entertainment. The visits to these adult workers are satisfying in the moment but ultimately leave you feeling alone and ashamed.
You may have shared your secret desire with your significant other only to be shunned and rejected. People who have sexual fetishes are often left feeling very alone. It's just not something we feel comfortable bringing up with a friend over lunch. It's even hard to tell a therapist we've seen for ages.
Taken from here: http://www.therapywithcare.com/Article_Fetish.html
Do you have a fetish you'd like to explore?
